


twenty-two

by springhibiscus



Category: Persona 3
Genre: F/M, Jealousy, Not Beta Read, One-Sided Relationship, Spoilers, Unrequited Love, We Die Like Men, shinji/minako is the main pairing here, yall already know what happens on everyone's FAVOURITE day in P3... 3/5
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-09
Updated: 2019-04-09
Packaged: 2020-01-07 06:39:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18405179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/springhibiscus/pseuds/springhibiscus
Summary: the star, the moon, and the girl that outshone them both.





	twenty-two

**Author's Note:**

> what's UP gamers... I wrote this in one-go at midnight because currently I'm replaying P3P on new cycle and really feeling that Loving Akihiko feeling (when am I not). But also I love making my faves suffer, apparently, so you know I had to do it to him. (laughs but also cries)

September creeps in, and Akihiko begins to realize Minako Arisato isn't as put-together as she makes everyone think.

Sometimes, he'll catch her freezing up in their Tartarus expeditions. Not enough to be painfully obvious, and never when Shadows are around. Always looking, looking, at the bloodied walls of the tower, or studying the eccentric architecture around them. (Eventually he realizes he's staring too much. Tone it down, he tells himself, but never does.)

Late into the month, he sees her sitting in the lounge, back facing him from his position on the stairs, talking animatedly to Shinjiro. A stab of irritation (or is it jealousy?) passes through him but he ignores it and heads back up the stairs. They don't need to know that he knows. Shinji can act like a tough, unfriendly guy, but he's not fooling anyone anymore. Minako made sure of that.

Be careful, he wants to warn her. He's taking those goddamned suppressants. His future, his life, is cut short, does she know that? Getting attached will make the goodbye more painful, more brutal. Akihiko knows that from experience. But he doesn't say anything. If Shinji cares enough about her, about any of the other S.E.E.S., even, he would tell them about his death sentence. Akihiko wouldn't have to suffer in silence. But no one knows and its not Akihiko’s job to spill secrets, especially not ones pertaining to his best friend, so he keeps his mouth shut.

After October 4th, Minako falls apart. Tries to keep it together for the rest of the group. No one has the heart to tell her she should stop trying, it's a mask that doesn't work and everyone is too shaken for positivity. Not now, maybe not ever again. And now she's always looking at a watch strapped tightly to her wrist, a watch from Shinji, he supposes. Glancing at the time. Watching the second hand tick by second by second by second. Seconds that Shinji now spends motionless in a hospital bed. Unconscious, unmoving, and silent.

He sees her lingering on the second floor often. Just through a crack in his door, but she's there, staring at Shinjiro’s door like it’s the only thing that exists. Sometimes shaking and looking like she’s trying not to break down crying, and Akihiko doesn't even pretend that those two never had anything going on between them. Because he can lie to himself about everything else (everything happens for a reason, Shinji will be fine, they _will_ destroy the Dark Hour) but the fact that those two _very much had a thing for each other_ strangles his thoughts every day. He can't get it, no, _Minako_ , out of his head and he wonders if that was what she intended all along.

Because December eventually rolls around and Ryoji tells them they're going to die. But they don't have to suffer. And Akihiko hates that Minako seriously looks like she's considering killing Ryoji, considering sparing them the memories and the fighting. That's a disservice to Shinji, and he wants to tell her that, but he can't bring himself to do it. He doesn't need to, anyways. She looks at her watch and mouths the words to something that Akihiko guesses is either _Shinjiro_ or _I’m sorry._  Doesn't really matter, though. He's never been good at reading lips.

By the end of January every S.E.E.S. member is properly equipped and trained for their final battle. Minako’s nightly forays into the tower have increased a tenfold since Ryoji’s final day, and now he’s always exhausted but also glad for the mindless task. Defeat shadows. Train. Grow stronger. Repeat. No time to think about what his relationship with Minako is (or supposed to be) or about Shinji practically dead in the hospital.

Then Minako goes alone and he's ready to punch himself at his immobility. She's strong, but not strong enough to take on a god. Or an immortal being. And certainly not _alone_. Right?

Wrong. She seals Nyx away, and then all of the memories dissolve. February is like a fever dream, full of “what was I…?”s and “I forget”s. Of brief encounters near the kitchen with the copper haired girl who lives in the dorm, who's lived here since April (really?, he has to ask Mitsuru) but he's never known. XXII in her hair and a tired look in her eyes. Twenty-two. Twenty-two of what? The only meaning twenty-two has to him is a date, September 22nd, his birthday. And he's never had a good birthday since his sister died, so it's practically meaningless now. 

Graduation day comes, and so do the memories. Fighting, Tartarus. A girl he got to know until he convinced himself she was off limits. A full moon and a bloody coat, gunshots, the ghosts in his head screaming and screaming and screaming. Everything.

They find her (and Aigis) on the rooftop. Somehow Shinjiro has found his way up here (only whatever god there is up there knows how) and is holding Minako. The knife of jealousy in Akihiko’s heart plunges deeper and twists. Pain. But he should be happy, right? His best friend (brother, more like) is reunited with the girl he loves. Be happy for him, be happy, be happy. A sick, twisted part of him wishes it was him holding Minako. He pushes the feeling down. Now is not the time. (But when is it ever?)

And like the stars in the night sky, fading into dawn, she slips away, quietly closing her eyes in Shinjiro’s arms, chest slowing to a stop. No words from Shinji. Yukari yells for someone, anyone, to get a teacher. We need an ambulance! She's not lost yet. But Akihiko has already accepted the fact that she's gone, she's dead, just like how Shinji had accepted the fact that he was either gonna die to Ken or die saving him on that night so many months ago.

He doesn't need a medical degree to know she's beyond saving. Her body, her lungs, her heart, they just stopped, the doctors stammer out. They don't know why. No one does. Everything is inexplicable when it comes to Minako. Time of death, 9:58AM, March 5th, 2010.

Weeks after, he dimly thinks that the digits of her time of death add up to 22. Twenty-two. XXII. Did she know?

She knew, he decides after a long time. She knew, just like how she knew how to save Shinji, like how she knew about his feelings but still told him “that’s just the way things are sometimes”. Like how she knew from the start that she would die at the end. Momento mori, she would say, Remember you will die.

In the end, Akihiko can't determine if he's better or worse for having known Minako Arisato.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! I love to suffer so lmk if you have any tips or suggestions for me. I dont know what im doing. ヾ(¯∇￣๑)


End file.
